Falling in Love with Him

"Everything, which once stood to my credit, I now write down as loss, for the love of Christ. For that matter, there is nothing I do not write down as loss compared to the high priviledge of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. For love of Him I have lost everything and I treat everything else as rubbish if I may have Christ to my credit...I only press on, in hope of winning the mastery, as Christ has won the mastery over me"

Philippians 3:7,8,12

In anticipation of her upcoming marriage, my daughter Sarah and her fiance have signed up for ballroom dancing lessons. When she told me about this I began to describe how incredible it is to dance closely with the one you love. Since my husband and I have a dance class every Friday night , I explained to her that being held in his arms, speaking face to face and being surrounded by beautiful music, rekindles within me the feelings of falling in love. Later that day I began to think of these words in light of my  relationship with Christ.

As I have been working through Philip Yancey's book, "Prayer:Does it Make a Difference", I am rediscovering the joys of extended time with Christ and, in a way, it feels very much like falling in love again. Having recommitted myself to beginning my day with a quiet time with the One I adore, there is once again the flutter in my heart when I feel Jesus draw near.

This week I have begun to add two new things to my morning prayer. Since it is still completely dark when I get up, I have placed a pillar candle at the corner of my desk. I begin by lighting it and immediately there grows an intimate circle of light, a circle for two. The second thing that I have added has been the habit of weaving the written prayers of others in with my own.

Today the prayer I read was written by Michel Quoist and is found in the book simply called "Prayers". I was so overwhelmed by the words that I forgot all my own. I wasn't sure if the prayer was true of me but I was sure that I wanted it to be... and I decided to share it here with you. Perhaps you may use it in your own prayer time this week.

For those who are feeling hollow and empty, lean on the words and faith of one who discovered the incredible love affair that is possible...for those who are feeling inspired in faith and intimate with Christ you can join yourself with Michel in a harmony of worship....for those who have yet to accept Jesus as Savior, you can press your face with longing against the window and let that longing grow into a magnificent "Yes".

LORD YOU HAVE SEIZED ME

~Michel Quoist~

Lord, you have seized me, and I could not resist You.

I ran for a long time, but You followed me

I took bypaths, but you knew them

You overtook me

I struggled

You won...

When I stood there trembling like one defeated before his captor

Your look of love fell on me

The die is cast, Lord

I can no longer forget You

In a moment You seized me

In a moment You conquered me

My doubts were swept away

My fears dispelled

For I recognized You without seeing You

I felt You without touching You

I understood You without hearing You

Marked by the fire of Your love

Now I know that You are there, close to me

And I work in peace beneath Your gaze of love

I no longer know what it is to make an effort to pray

I just lift my eyes to You and I meet Yours

And we understand one another...

Captivated I hold my breath

The world fades away, You suspend time

I wish that these minutes were hours...

You are too great

You eclipse everything

What I had cherished now seems trifling

And my desires melt like wax in the sun under the fire of Your love

Nothing matters to me

Neither my comfort

Nor even my life

I desire only You

I want nothing but You...

You have seized me Lord and I am sure of You

You are there and I am overjoyed...

The God Who Gently Leads

In light of the wonderful discussion I had last night with the women in the Sunday Night Christian Life group I lead each week, I thought it appropriate to re-post this bit of writing from a few months ago that I put up on my other blog,  The Contented Nest .

"When my kids grow wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen.
When they're finished, I climb out"

~Erma Bombeck~

I called a friend yesterday who is busy mothering 3 children under the age of five. When she answered it sounded as if she was standing in a train station. Honestly it did. Whistles and crashes and whining and giggles all mushed together. After trying a few times to hear each other she finally lifted up her voice and yelled "I'm going to go crazy". Then she stomped off to hide herself in the bathroom so we could have a conversation. I think most of us who have had children have found ourselves sitting by the toilet, door locked, just trying to talk to another adult.

So how is that we all manage to stay sane in the end? It is by that wonderful bond of sisterhood, that gathering of other mothers, all nodding and sighing in unison, letting us know that we are not failing just because the jam that spilled in the fridge is still stuck there a week later.

"It's OK" we say gently.

We wrap each other in understanding.

We grant each other grace.

 We kindly do not mention the stains on one anothers blouses.

So why is it that we do not grant to God that same grace toward us? Why do we think He is hovering over us, condemning our lack of private devotional time? Why do we apologetically enter into His presence, hoping He will not have noticed how few moments we managed to formally pray? If we give to each other these common kindnesses, how much more will He?

"Apart from the requirement that we be authentic before God, there is no prescribed way to pray. Each of us presents a unique mix of personality, outlook, gifts and weaknesses, as well as a unique history with the church and with God. As Roberta Bondi says 'If you are praying, you are already doing it right'....much of the benefit of prayer comes as a result of consistancy, the simple act of showing up"

~Philip Yancey, "Prayer, Does it Make a Difference?"~

I Want to Die

"I die every day. I really mean that, brothers and sisters"

The Apostle Paul

1 Corinthians 15:31 (NIV)

It has occured to me over the past few days that I may have been praying the wrong prayer. For years I have been asking God to "Make me more like Jesus". But in doing this have I been requesting a renovation rather than a demolition, a makeover rather than a crucifixion? 

In my quest for Christ likeness, have I flattered myself into thinking that there are parts of me that are alight? Perhaps I could be spruced up with a coat of fresh paint or maybe a double glazed window would stop the draft in the front room. My wiring might need tweeking to bring it up to code but all in all, I have the makings of a good person, don't I? 

As I have thought about Pauls words, that he died daily, I have also thought of the implications of our modern gospel message.  We have grown fond of presenting Christ as a wonderful addition to our lives, as a friend and a companion, a guide and a source of strength when we are weak. Because we have not been taught the  need for the crucifixion of self, we cannot fathom what Paul is talking about in Corinthians when he says that he dies every day? I like this analogy presented by Dr. Bill Gillham (lifetime.org)

"The King is Dead! Long Live the King!" When I was a kid, I heard a Shakespearean actor in a film make such a statement and was thoroughly confused. How could the king be dead but alive at the same time? Little did I know that he was talking about two different people! Indeed, the former king had died and was no longer king...he had ceased to exist! But the new king, who could never have emerged as king had the old king not died, lives indeed! So long as the old king remained alive, the new king could not be "born." But after the one's "birth" as the new king, the old king could never again resurrect himself because he had no capability for self-resurrection! The very existence of the one precludes the existence of the other and vice versa!

So if one nature is killed in order to make a place for the new nature that has been promised by Christ, why then must we "die daily"?

In Ephesians 4, Paul puts it another way. Rather than a makeover (which appeals to our natural pride), he required the new believers to "put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires...and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness". We are not told to wash our old self or tidy it up or to renovate our exisiting structure, but to remove it, demolish it, crucify it.

By faith we know that we have been redeemed and reclaimed by the shedding of Christ's blood. Within each believer, Christs Spirit takes up residence as King and we are new creatures from the moment we confess our belief in Jesus and repent of our sins. Yet this declaration is a war cry and from the first moment on, Satan will use every angle he knows to get a foothold and reclaim the throne. But we are Christs and the Word tells us that nothing can snatch us from His hands.  Even so, by God's design, we are the ones who decide how much of ourselves will be crucified , how many of our desires will be set aside and how much of our energy will be committed to living out what the Spirit requires of us.

If we cling to our egocentric belief that our own efforts and talents are good enough, than we hamper our ability to be fully used by God. But when we commit ourselves to the daily crucifixion of self , it is then that we can rise to the incredible heights He has planned for us.

For this reason I lift my voice this day and cry out to God ..."I want to die"

He must increase, but I must decrease.

John the Baptist

 John 3:3o